True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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