Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
