Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize