WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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