just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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