Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I need water and some morals
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize