I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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