last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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