ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
