we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
