Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
