well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
