ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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