I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize