She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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