Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
