You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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