She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
