he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize