Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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