before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize