but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
