hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
