I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
