What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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