it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize