Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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