Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
