I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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