he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
