That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
