Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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