The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
