remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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