I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
