If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My pussy is not your playground.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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