Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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