Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
