I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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