just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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