life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How external is "for external use only"?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
