my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
