my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
