what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
