He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize