you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
