Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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