Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
