I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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