Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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