If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
