I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize