bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize