Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
