fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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