Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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