I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
