put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
