I want to stick my p in your. b.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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