For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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