I can text with my tongue
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
