yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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