Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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