hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
