Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
