everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
