is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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