Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
