she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
