He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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