im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
