He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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