i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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