final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think a kid would responsible me up
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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