She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
