I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
