Nicole vs. Life
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
