I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
