Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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